before anything else ..


okay now let me tell you what a torture it is to get to sleep.
okay nvermind, let's not go there, i'm sure all of you know the challenge it poses without a healthy dose of Valium.

Right now i'm jsut trying to convince myself that i haven't been wasting my life/living a lie/getting cheated for the past 3 months of my life. Mainly because that is a horrible thing to think about people.

People always say i shouldn't calculate relationships in measures of time wasted.
.. but i cannot help it okay.

i feel like i shouldn;t have bothered to give in at all and ALWAYS insisted on getting my way, since it's gonna end up like that in the end might as well make the most of it right.

aiya. i'm just going to make myself prettier so i have more leverage next time.
LOL.

you know what, i really don;t wanna talk about it.
you really can't blame people for not liking you enough.
I jsut wish i knew earlier that you'd do absolutely twat for me.
you really wanted everything your way, you refused to give in, MADE ME TAKE WATER FOR YOU(?!?!?!?!), and i jsut happily let myself be a pushover. WAH LAU. Looking back, I think you really did nothing for me. you've never changed your plans to fit mine, made exceptions to do things I wanted to do, etcetc.

okay. conslusion, you were a shit girlfriend.
oh no. maybe you just didn;t like me enough.

okay so i wish you all the best wit your next girl and i hope you like her enough to not treat her as crappily as you treated me.

let's get this straight k, i don't hate you.
i just hate wasting time.

i think you must just break people's hearts before they break yours.
that way it's alot easier.

oh let's not end this entry on a bad note.
check this out (: