I need to stop drinking.
I woke up today thinking it's Wednesday.
.. It's SUNDAY !!!! D:
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My inability to hold a job for more than 3 weeks is official. Tried, tested, &proven again today.
I swear I can get fired from anything.
If I really were a boy, I'd definitely be famous for being the only person ever to get fired from National Service.
Damn, just when I was congratulating myself on my apparent skill in looking incredibly busy - this encompasses typing furiously (MSN) &clocking up the highest outgoing call time (constant calling is encouraged for brokers. Apparently not to your friends though)
Oh shit, I should stop typing while walking, I just kicked a rather portly auntie down the stairs of Chinatown Point.
Hengly, there was nobody around to see me.
Suayly, there was nobody around to help her.
Gonna end off this post quick before I irreversably injure other nonplussed denizens of Chinatown - old bones are brittle.
Getting fired is pretty liberating actually, now that my status has reverted to it's default - jobless, I can go back to blogging incessantly &sleeping with the boss :)
Everyone wish me good luck trying to smuggle 30 kilos of spirits through the HongKong Customs in approximately 22 hours, God knows I'll need it!!
xx
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- Location:1.2899,103.8507
I blame our forefathers completely for fucking up our genes.
We all wouldn't look so much like one another if only China didn't force itself into inbreeding by closing it's doors to the rest of the world.
Brazilians, on the other hand, have pretty much zero entertainment apart from training soccer players &watching sugarcane grow. Sex is the answer. Did they close their doors? NO!!! The result is trial and error til you end up with sex-in-high-heels combinations like Gisele Bundchen &Alessandra Ambrioso.
Just my luck being the product of a illustrious line of inbred Chinamen instead of the bronzed goddesses of North America.
We all wouldn't look so much like one another if only China didn't force itself into inbreeding by closing it's doors to the rest of the world.
Brazilians, on the other hand, have pretty much zero entertainment apart from training soccer players &watching sugarcane grow. Sex is the answer. Did they close their doors? NO!!! The result is trial and error til you end up with sex-in-high-heels combinations like Gisele Bundchen &Alessandra Ambrioso.
Just my luck being the product of a illustrious line of inbred Chinamen instead of the bronzed goddesses of North America.
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- Location:1.3706,103.8816
People get married for a multitude of reasons.
When I pass on these facts of life to my grandchildren, I just don't want my reason to be,
"Because po po didn't want to work"
"all of you are the fruits of myloins overly indulgent childhood inability to hold an office job"
.. It irks me cause I always thought I'd excel at everything I embarked upon. Sometimes I wonder how many things I force myself into doing just to prove to myself that I can.
When I pass on these facts of life to my grandchildren, I just don't want my reason to be,
"Because po po didn't want to work"
"all of you are the fruits of my
.. It irks me cause I always thought I'd excel at everything I embarked upon. Sometimes I wonder how many things I force myself into doing just to prove to myself that I can.
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- Location:1.3706,103.8816
Riiight, my god-sister just read my blog &called to tell me that perhaps I should try going to church.
Immediately I told her "sure, no problem. If God can buy me my entire shopping list and send me out of this country, I will go to church every week!!"
&the worst thing is that I know that's not how it works, dammit.
You see, all you people out there insist that I am not trying hard enough, too lazy to hold a proper job, much better off slacking and leading a partygirl/social butterfly/taitai kind of lifestyle than even attempting to work.
Honestly I don't see what's the problem!
I know what I want &i'm working for it, right?it's just that things aren't turning out right AT ALL. I'm totally not made for work but give me some credit for trying, come on. Everyone's entitled to a bitchfit now and then, some more often than others (duh, right?). But that's not what chills me to the bone. It's the fact that I can so nonchalantly push everyone into the mud and just stalk off, completely unaffected.
I think my drive to get what I want has made me very much less of a person.
So the next time all you haters wanna say that I'm flaky and random &the least focused person to walk the face of this planet, please do yourself a favour &reevaluate that sentance before it comes out of your mouth, cause you're gonna look like an idiot when I make you take it back.
I choose what to focus on,
&right now, too much focus is what's killing me.
I haven't heard of anybody dying from tunnel vision before. I might just be the first.
Immediately I told her "sure, no problem. If God can buy me my entire shopping list and send me out of this country, I will go to church every week!!"
&the worst thing is that I know that's not how it works, dammit.
You see, all you people out there insist that I am not trying hard enough, too lazy to hold a proper job, much better off slacking and leading a partygirl/social butterfly/taitai kind of lifestyle than even attempting to work.
Honestly I don't see what's the problem!
I know what I want &i'm working for it, right?it's just that things aren't turning out right AT ALL. I'm totally not made for work but give me some credit for trying, come on. Everyone's entitled to a bitchfit now and then, some more often than others (duh, right?). But that's not what chills me to the bone. It's the fact that I can so nonchalantly push everyone into the mud and just stalk off, completely unaffected.
I think my drive to get what I want has made me very much less of a person.
So the next time all you haters wanna say that I'm flaky and random &the least focused person to walk the face of this planet, please do yourself a favour &reevaluate that sentance before it comes out of your mouth, cause you're gonna look like an idiot when I make you take it back.
I choose what to focus on,
&right now, too much focus is what's killing me.
I haven't heard of anybody dying from tunnel vision before. I might just be the first.
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- Location:1.3706,103.8816
I don't think anybody truly understands the extent to which I feel lonely.
Not lonely per se,
More like totally not understood at all.
I have zero kindred spirits in this world.
I'm losing the drive for everything.
Nobody really knows anything that goes through my head at all. Nobody thinks like I do, &nobody feels the way I does.
Everyone of you tell me I'm not half the flake I pretend to be &i always laugh &shrug it off, but if you really wanna know why, this is it.
I never talk to anybody because none of you all can relate to me at all.
I mean, thank you all for trying,
But I reckon I'm a tad more messed up than you figure me to be.
But well, for what it's worth,
Thank you all of you who've made the effort.
xx
Not lonely per se,
More like totally not understood at all.
I have zero kindred spirits in this world.
I'm losing the drive for everything.
Nobody really knows anything that goes through my head at all. Nobody thinks like I do, &nobody feels the way I does.
Everyone of you tell me I'm not half the flake I pretend to be &i always laugh &shrug it off, but if you really wanna know why, this is it.
I never talk to anybody because none of you all can relate to me at all.
I mean, thank you all for trying,
But I reckon I'm a tad more messed up than you figure me to be.
But well, for what it's worth,
Thank you all of you who've made the effort.
xx
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
- Location:1.3706,103.8816
I don't think I'm doing too well at my new job as a Winebreaker.
I guess that's what we should techincally be called since we broke wines.
heehee.
Honestly I know jackshit about wine.
At a recent wine tasting,
Customer "what kind of wine is this?"
Me *pensive pause* " .. RED."
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
After my horrified colleague informed me that I should refrain from speaking to clients &esteemed guests about topics I'm not entirely sure about (how was I supposed to know she was referring to the varietal label (eg, chardonnay, cab sauv, etc) right?! "What kind of wine is this" is such a general question - so I still stand firm that this is her error &that I cannot be blamed in the least) she skittered off on another highly important mission no doubt, leaving me once again skulking alone in a corner in my incredibly-gorgeous-but-totally-unsuitab
Since we've already established it as a fact that trouble loves to find me no matter where I am, OF COURSE a guest HAD to come up to me &ask me more wine related questions (wtf seriously, do I look like a certified fucking oenologist or a goddamn wine connoisseur du jour to you?!) - The things I say are barely comprehensible even on days when I haven't been drinking, I don't know why any of you actually still bother talking to me, really - but going back to my point, yeah, basically apart from pretending to be a deaf mute, there was absolutely no escaping her question.
Customer "Where is this wine from?"
Me *withers visibly*
" .. Umm . Well. If you really MUST know ..
*looks desperately around for help*
To approach this in a completely objective manner ....
*starts to panic - notice how you can never find stuff only in situations when you especially need it? (in this case, nosey colleagues)*
.... well technically, this wine came from ...
*final scan of the room. No help. Bo pian*
.. a grape"
Hahahahhahhahahahahahha.
While we're on the topic of work, I'd just like to raise a very valid complaint about the range corporate workwear offered this completely disastrious fall-winter season.
What would possess any level-headed designer to design anything as impractical as a pencil skirt?! Not only is it incredibly long, it also makes everybody who wears it look like they just escaped from a nunnery!! That skirt is singularly the most conservative article of clothing I have ever owned in all 22 years of my incredibly unfortunate existance.
Also, please note that it is of astounding hinderance when used in any situation off the runway:
1) It is IMPOSSIBLE for ANYBODY (even Jesus) to run in these tubular knee-shackles! Trust me, I am consistantly late considering the fact that the only parts of my leg that are actually mobile start from my knee downwards. There is, however, a way to speed this up.
Perper, 9:27am, Chinatown
2) Pencil skirts were obviously invented in a land where escalators don't exist. Either that or people just stand placidly on their moving platforms, hands firmly clasped upon the balustrade, in absolutely no rush at all. Such situations exist only in a perfect universe totally unreflective of real life.
3) You know how the bus step is usually about the length of a jump away from the bus stop pavement? So yesterday right, I happily got on the bus home after work, toodledoodleoo, finally i reached my stop. Time to get off. Naturally, I 'teet'ed my ez-link and took a joyous bound off the bus to the pavement just like i do on normal days. BUT THEN, WHAT HAPPENED?!?! Motherfucking skirt, cheebye, I forgot my legs couldn't stretch as far as they usually would. Dammit, I fell short of the pavement and the next thing i knew i was sprawled all over the floor of the bus stop. Nb -_- (but okay lah, the skirt so long, confirm never zaogeng). CHEEBYE!!!!! ):
I FUCKING HATE
PENCIL SKIRTS!!!!! ): ): ):
Okay just before I go I just want to show you how cute the balloon boy is :D
Love you Falcon Heene!! (:
okok need to get back to work before I get fired again!
P/s: I'm headed up to genting later to bao the casino.
I have a foolproof plan where I will NEVER lose money.
If it works I will get you to bankroll it.
Then we're in business, baby ;)
I guess that's what we should techincally be called since we broke wines.
heehee.
Honestly I know jackshit about wine.
At a recent wine tasting,
Customer "what kind of wine is this?"
Me *pensive pause* " .. RED."
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
After my horrified colleague informed me that I should refrain from speaking to clients &esteemed guests about topics I'm not entirely sure about (how was I supposed to know she was referring to the varietal label (eg, chardonnay, cab sauv, etc) right?! "What kind of wine is this" is such a general question - so I still stand firm that this is her error &that I cannot be blamed in the least) she skittered off on another highly important mission no doubt, leaving me once again skulking alone in a corner in my incredibly-gorgeous-but-totally-unsuitab
Since we've already established it as a fact that trouble loves to find me no matter where I am, OF COURSE a guest HAD to come up to me &ask me more wine related questions (wtf seriously, do I look like a certified fucking oenologist or a goddamn wine connoisseur du jour to you?!) - The things I say are barely comprehensible even on days when I haven't been drinking, I don't know why any of you actually still bother talking to me, really - but going back to my point, yeah, basically apart from pretending to be a deaf mute, there was absolutely no escaping her question.
Customer "Where is this wine from?"
Me *withers visibly*
" .. Umm . Well. If you really MUST know ..
*looks desperately around for help*
To approach this in a completely objective manner ....
*starts to panic - notice how you can never find stuff only in situations when you especially need it? (in this case, nosey colleagues)*
.... well technically, this wine came from ...
*final scan of the room. No help. Bo pian*
.. a grape"
Hahahahhahhahahahahahha.
While we're on the topic of work, I'd just like to raise a very valid complaint about the range corporate workwear offered this completely disastrious fall-winter season.
What would possess any level-headed designer to design anything as impractical as a pencil skirt?! Not only is it incredibly long, it also makes everybody who wears it look like they just escaped from a nunnery!! That skirt is singularly the most conservative article of clothing I have ever owned in all 22 years of my incredibly unfortunate existance.
Also, please note that it is of astounding hinderance when used in any situation off the runway:
1) It is IMPOSSIBLE for ANYBODY (even Jesus) to run in these tubular knee-shackles! Trust me, I am consistantly late considering the fact that the only parts of my leg that are actually mobile start from my knee downwards. There is, however, a way to speed this up.
Perper, 9:27am, Chinatown
2) Pencil skirts were obviously invented in a land where escalators don't exist. Either that or people just stand placidly on their moving platforms, hands firmly clasped upon the balustrade, in absolutely no rush at all. Such situations exist only in a perfect universe totally unreflective of real life.
3) You know how the bus step is usually about the length of a jump away from the bus stop pavement? So yesterday right, I happily got on the bus home after work, toodledoodleoo, finally i reached my stop. Time to get off. Naturally, I 'teet'ed my ez-link and took a joyous bound off the bus to the pavement just like i do on normal days. BUT THEN, WHAT HAPPENED?!?! Motherfucking skirt, cheebye, I forgot my legs couldn't stretch as far as they usually would. Dammit, I fell short of the pavement and the next thing i knew i was sprawled all over the floor of the bus stop. Nb -_- (but okay lah, the skirt so long, confirm never zaogeng). CHEEBYE!!!!! ):
I FUCKING HATE
PENCIL SKIRTS!!!!! ): ): ):
Okay just before I go I just want to show you how cute the balloon boy is :D
Love you Falcon Heene!! (:
okok need to get back to work before I get fired again!
P/s: I'm headed up to genting later to bao the casino.
I have a foolproof plan where I will NEVER lose money.
If it works I will get you to bankroll it.
Then we're in business, baby ;)
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O$ P$
Cause of their inability to spell owe & pay.
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- Location:1.3715,103.8785
I'm dead. It's my first day on my new job as a broker &i'm incredibly late cause I have no working clothes *despair!!* :(
Anyway all you blog readers are crazy, where got people 4 am still don't need to sleep one?!
I think I'm not cut out for a real job &randomly, my luggagebag smells like rotten soap (IKR, HOW CAN SOAP ROT?!?!!, this could only happen to me). I opened it in hopes of salvaging a bra &immediately wished I hadn't. a whiff of that would have woken even my dead godpa up :/ smells like rotting socks & (used) underwear too. Bleah.
Nobody gets pimples on their first day of work. (Except me, naturally). I woke up this morning &just HAD to agitate my face into this hugely splotchy red thing &slap myself silly with toner after that. Life is so damn unfair.
Anyway now I am FUCKING late for work having effectively used my entire morning blogging &tweeting painfully slowly on my iPhone. I'm gonna do my makeup on the go. Yeah, for all the times I've denied it, this is the reason why my mother refuses to take public transport with me.
Some people just weren't build for public transport. If I don't manage to find someone to send me to work in the next couple of days, I swear this job won't last me longer than a fortnight (not that I'll quit, I just think they'll fire even Imelda Marcos if she streams into work 2 hours late everyday with excuses as implausible as (in her case) "Sorry I'm late, I couldn't find a shoe that goes!!" or (in my case) "someone committed suicide on the MRT track .. AGAIN!!(again in this instance referring to the suicide cases, not the frequency of the excuse)"
Ermegegildo Zegna launch to attend later in the evening,
Don't mean to sound like a prissy little bitch but my clothes don't even match &my bag doesn't go with my shoes -_-
Fuckfuckfuck I shouldn't even have CONSIDERED public transport, I am now negatively 30 minutes on time :(
Anyway all you blog readers are crazy, where got people 4 am still don't need to sleep one?!
I think I'm not cut out for a real job &randomly, my luggagebag smells like rotten soap (IKR, HOW CAN SOAP ROT?!?!!, this could only happen to me). I opened it in hopes of salvaging a bra &immediately wished I hadn't. a whiff of that would have woken even my dead godpa up :/ smells like rotting socks & (used) underwear too. Bleah.
Nobody gets pimples on their first day of work. (Except me, naturally). I woke up this morning &just HAD to agitate my face into this hugely splotchy red thing &slap myself silly with toner after that. Life is so damn unfair.
Anyway now I am FUCKING late for work having effectively used my entire morning blogging &tweeting painfully slowly on my iPhone. I'm gonna do my makeup on the go. Yeah, for all the times I've denied it, this is the reason why my mother refuses to take public transport with me.
Some people just weren't build for public transport. If I don't manage to find someone to send me to work in the next couple of days, I swear this job won't last me longer than a fortnight (not that I'll quit, I just think they'll fire even Imelda Marcos if she streams into work 2 hours late everyday with excuses as implausible as (in her case) "Sorry I'm late, I couldn't find a shoe that goes!!" or (in my case) "someone committed suicide on the MRT track .. AGAIN!!(again in this instance referring to the suicide cases, not the frequency of the excuse)"
Ermegegildo Zegna launch to attend later in the evening,
Don't mean to sound like a prissy little bitch but my clothes don't even match &my bag doesn't go with my shoes -_-
Fuckfuckfuck I shouldn't even have CONSIDERED public transport, I am now negatively 30 minutes on time :(
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
I've decided already.
This year for my birthday I only want one thing.
So everybody start saving up to buy me a new nose c",) << that is a my new face!!
This year for my birthday I only want one thing.
So everybody start saving up to buy me a new nose c",) << that is a my new face!!
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
- Location:1.2871,103.8498
I just finished having this dream about a 14-year old Nick Carter with Zac Efron hair. His nose very nice. Look like Peter Pan.
We were all holidaying on this island so he just walks around all day topless with a marvellous tan.
He is the stong silent type with a gorgeous smile.
It was the only time I have felt true love in YEARS. Cb.
In my defence, he looked 18 okay. I am not a paedophile.
&then I dreamt that I was in a safari prison. It was scary :( they keep the worst kind of prisoners in there so the animals will not starve. Finally, I was forced into having sex with an axe-murderer.
Then my innocent friend &i broke out to go and see nice landed houses around Teachers' Estate. We bumped into my secondary school Chinese teacher. She sent us back to jail -_-
The showers were cold. We plucked fruits from a pongpong tree.
AND DIED.
We were all holidaying on this island so he just walks around all day topless with a marvellous tan.
He is the stong silent type with a gorgeous smile.
It was the only time I have felt true love in YEARS. Cb.
In my defence, he looked 18 okay. I am not a paedophile.
&then I dreamt that I was in a safari prison. It was scary :( they keep the worst kind of prisoners in there so the animals will not starve. Finally, I was forced into having sex with an axe-murderer.
Then my innocent friend &i broke out to go and see nice landed houses around Teachers' Estate. We bumped into my secondary school Chinese teacher. She sent us back to jail -_-
The showers were cold. We plucked fruits from a pongpong tree.
AND DIED.
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
- Location:1.3676,103.8776
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