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x The Move.


While the diligent designers and developers get cracking on my new website at

Stick with the program on Twitter @saksaddict,
or at my temporary (and very badly designed) blog,

(This was the top-secret blog you guys were so desperately trying to unearth ;) heehee!)

Also, I've moved to a facebook page - don't add me on my profile anymore cause it's full!


Overhauling should be complete by end November.

Support upgrading today!! :D

x 你不知道的事.

sad sad sad


xoxo, Foxxxy

I'm really sorry, but I'll be closing this blog down.
Blame it on the fact that we live in a relatively chinese society, or that people naturally want to see only the worst in others.
Maybe I just wasn't cut out politically correct, conforming enough, or fake enough to say everything you want me to say.

Thank you readers for all your support and kind words over the past 5 years,
but thing have happened that's made me realise that maybe conformity is truly the best route,
get a corporate desk jockey job in a huge MNC, keep your head down, and shut the hell up.
Lead an uneventful life and die like any other person.

No danger = No fun,
but that's the price we've gotta pay.

The truth and light of my current situation hits so hard in my gut that I can barely stand,
but that's something I guess everyone has to learn someday.

This is Singapore.
You can't be one foot out of line.
The more fun and experiences you've had in your youth, the more times you've thought to yourself "k nvm, just do it first and think about the consequences later", that's all gonna come back and bite you in the ass one day.

I've said once that conformity will be the death of me, so maybe my jailterm starts now.
You guys never thought I'd be silenced, never thought I'd ever stop having a point of view.

I'm lost completely, too.
It's the first time I've truly understood what "thrown off your bearings" means.

No space for me.
I've always been a circle trying to fit into a triangle,
but conformity starts now.
No more gossip, no more blogging,
no more formspring, twitter, and facebook.

Trust me, this breaks my heart more than you can even imagine.

Please don't wait for me.
I won't be back.

I'm sorry.
I'm so so sorry.



Losing you wasn't the worst thing,
it was losing your family as well.

x Younghotandroyal xx

Omg guys check it out!!!

I sent my photo in for virtual consultation and here! he edited it!! This is how I will look like after cheekbone reduction surgery!!!

I sent him my ugliest photo so I  will know what I'll look like even on the UGLIEST day.
Now I am gonna send him my best photo and ask him to do it again.

I need to find 6k desperately.
btw  I also wanna go to thailand and make the tip of my nose sharper.

All this is gonna take money!!!!
I better marry a prince. Recently Her World magazine ran an editorial about princes who are still on the market and (you know how I always say I can't stand angmohs .. BUT) THEY ARE SO HOT?!?!?!?!? They are MODEL hot. Except they are models with brains, money, and a title. If I bag one of them, I'm going to be a REAL LIFE PRINCESS. Omg I'm gonna be Blair Waldorf!!!!!! It's a sign that I have read this article after meeting Chuck Bass (will show you a photo next time, he's like, HK Chuck Bass but still as cute and the seh is the same). Now I can be a Blair and marry a French prince!!!!! WOW!!!!! What a blessed life!!!

For those of you who haven't read it, LET ME EDUCATE YOU FURTHER.
Prince William was everybody's teenage heartthrob (for some reason I kept thinking Harry was younger than me, but I realise he's 26 this year?! He looks so tiny on the telly!!!), but now he's married SIGH so we have to settle for others. Research has proven successful!!! I've discovered EVEN CUTER ONES!!! AND SINGLE!!!! :D :D :D and you know how Europeans are so full of culture and such. READ ON!!!! :D

1) Monaco : GOOGLE, ANDREA CASIRAGHI (no it's not a girl)

OMG HOT ANOT!!?!?!?!? :D :D :D :D
lovelovelovelovelove!!! :D

But apparently he's dating some Brazilian socialite already.
Confirm cannot beat.
I can't even beat Jolin Tsai of the Dolphin Tattoo,
how can I beat a Brazilian Heiress?! ):

K lah but understandable.
When you look like this I guess you have no other option but to date someone as beautiful and smart and rich and cute as you -_-
Maybe I should start hanging out in Monaco abit more, then yknw, the chances of bumping to a prince? Higher than hanging out near the Baccarat tables at MBS.

There is also Carl Philip,
this guy is CONFIRM a prince already.
The Andrea is only second in line, so fkit, this is The Real Deal.

Plus he looks like he can cook (:
(hor? Doesn't think photo make him look like he'd whip up a storm in the kitchen?)

As an added plus, he looks like Orlando Bloom!!! :D

Last one, Prince of Luxembourg, Felix (:
a.k.a Love of My Life.
I v v v v badly want to be a princess ):

Sorry I know this is a terribly flaky and ditzy sounding post where I just gush over the Princes of Unattainability, but pls, I really need to blog about it so I can look back one day when I'm screaming at my two kids to keep quiet over the din of the decade old vacuum cleaner and remember how I used to have dreams of marrying a prince too. heh.

This is Sexy Prince Felix

This is a damn bad photo but who cares.

I've suddenly discovered another website devoted completely to my cause,

Omg I srsly GTG, it is the best website ever ttyl xx

x Makeup Tutes!! (:


What was meant to be a 10 minute tutorial ended up as a 50 minute one. sigh, but no matter cause I managed to look fabulous in the end (:

Anyway I am already anticipating questions like 1) where did you buy your hair extensions (korea) and 2) where did you get your dress (Finding Dressabelle) (click here, if you google finding dressabelle you won't get to the new website) you really should check out their website I'm pretty in love with their clothes. The good thing about blogshops is that it's cheap SO IF YOU LIKE IT YOU CAN BUY IT IN ALL 3 COLOURS!!! :D

Anyway, don't bother looking for my dress on their website yet cause it's from the NEXT collection. Hahaha I only have it cause I hosting the 2nd episode of FashionFray &they were one of the official sponsors (:

Oh I know what else you're gonna ask me, you're gonna ask where I buy all my brushes!! (okay I only featured one but I have like, a million. you can buy them either at art friend (if you truly research and know what to buy), otherwise you can buy them online at eyeslipsface. I've decided to organise a spree soon (cause I want some stuff too!) once I start figuring out how to do it and depending on the response. Drop me a comment if you want anything.
Okay I'm super hungry so I'm gonna go eat first. Binge drinking makes for hungry ass fat girls. That's me ):

I don't think I'm gonna be the next Michelle Phan ):
but nevermind, i can improve. Anyway it doesn't matter cause the end product is still awesome. heehee.


Makeup really makes a world of difference.

Please don't give up on your face.


To the person who Formspringed me and asked me what true love is, I think  have an answer ..

True love goes beyond any other limitation. I know because S is one of the best boyfriends I have ever had. It goes beyond logic (like how when I failed my SQ interview and he was driving to meet his business partner, he immediately called him and told him he'll be late cause he needs to get back on the opposite side of the highway and make a big round back to Suntec to pick me up - I mean, that's hardly logical, right). It goes beyond sacrifice - like introducing me to his mother even though he already knows we're gonna gang up and come up with excruciating plans to make him a "better person". It's patience and hope - how he lets me feed all his thousand dollar fish by hand even though my hands are SUPER grimy and sometimes they fall sick after I do it. &now, it's also when you've gone past a stage where you're calculate anything. Love is when your ex boyfriend texts you to check if you need him to clear your Singtel bills - not out of habit, but also cause he knows you're broke.

The day you find someone who'd do that for you, don't ever let them go cause they're keepers.




YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I WENT TO JEAN FUCKING YIP (ok lah, jean yip can be in small letters cause she isn't the one who got me this way). ANYWAY, I WENT TO Jean Yip AND TOLD THEM I WANNA DO MY HAIR IN BROWN cause I'm soooo incredibly tired of this severe looking black.

I took a seat and they said,

"Your hair looks incredibly black"

(oh btw I've decided not to type in all caps, it really takes away the emphasis from the highlights)

I said "yes, I had to dye it black for SQ" (fuck you, SQ)

She says "did you do it yourself?"
me "yes. I used Bigen black"
She "oh my god. Once you go Bigen Black you can never go back!!"
(oky, she didnt actually say that, she was more tactful, as most hairdressers usually aren't. WTG Jean Yip!)

She "bleaching won't help, You'll just have to CUT IT OFF"

omg. seriously you know how I always say no mistakes in life can't be rectified? Here's one giant example proving me completely wrong. FUCK!!!!!!!!!! I never thought I'd be dumb enough to ever make one of those giant mistakes that you have to spend the next half of your life rectifying, but here it bloody is. IMMA BE STUCK WITH BLACK HAIR FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!!! D: D: D:

I called Gracey in tears and told her I'm gonna be stuck with this damn korean black hair for the rest of my life and she accused me of being dramatic, "it's not the rest f your life, silly, it's probably only 3 years"

me *HYSTERICAL* "IM 23 NOW!!!!!! IN 3 YEARS I'LL BE 26 ...... IT REALLY IS THE END OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!! I need to call you back, Chloe is on the other line"

Chloe is completely hopeless at consoling people. Possibly worse than Pil. At least Pil lets you get like 3 sentances in before telling you her life story, but for Chloe it's like,

me "Chloe, I'm so glad you called, I was about to walk out of my window. DO YOU KNOW I HAVE TO HAVE BLACK HAIR FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE CAUSE I DYED IT MYSELF USING BIGEN!??!?!?!?!"
her "oh that sucks, but you know what's suckier? My day .... *drone*"

Okay, she is officially off my list of people to call when in trouble. heh.

Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, Shuwen calls.

me *bellowing incoherently by now* "SHUWEN!!! I'M KOREAN FOREVER!!! MY HAIR!!!! IT'S NEVER GOING BACK!!! BIGEN!! IT RUINED MY LIFE!!!!"

Though after being with me for so long, he totally understands what I'm talking about. See this is why I love him so much (:

Shuwen "Can't you bleach it?"
Me *panting* "NO!! COLOUR IS FOREVER!!! GAME OVER!!"
Shuwen "Well, serves you right for being such a bitch all the time. hahahaha. Told you to stop fucking around with your hair right."
Me "SQ MADE ME!!!!!!!!!" (fuck you SQ)
Shuwen "That's why you should fly WITH them, not FOR them. Bo pian now, suck thumb lor. I gtg now, consider shaving your head, ttyl my darling nun"


Salvation came in the form of Lenny, my cheerleading coach. Who encouraged me to "Rock it G.I Jane style" (which is honestly much better than Shuwen, who very tactlessly called me a nun). Apparently everyone knows that Bigen colour is forever. THAT IS MY QUESTION. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE ENTIRE WORLD KNOWS ABOUT THE TIMELESSNESS OF BIGEN HAIRDYE EXCEPT ME?!!?!?

I mean, everyone's laughing at me now cause they're all like, "you mean you DIDN'T know that Bigen is forever?!" I'm like, HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW?!?!? IT NEVER SAID SO ON THE PACKAGING!!?!?!? I mean, it says 'Permanent Hair Dye", but like what the hell, so do all the rest of the hair dyes in the universe, but none of them last beyond 1 month?! How was I supposed to know that Bigen is the only honest hair dye in the world?!?!

I told Lenny, I think it's possible to change color even after going black what, lots of superstars do it, like Christina Aguilera, and Avril Lavigne, to name a few. He was in the middle of a dinner date, actually, but he very politely stopped to SHOUT (in the middle of a restaurant) "YES, BUT THAT'S BECAUSE CHRISTINA AGUILERA WENT TO A PROFESSIONAL AT A SALON, SHE DIDN'T USE BIGEN SPEEDY BLACK!!!!!!"

Ugh, I can't believe this is happening to me.
I know you guys might find this post very funny cause all of you are vindictive bastards, each and every one of you, but seriously, can you imagine an entire fucking lifetime stretching ahead of you and only two options for your hair?!

a) Black forever.
b) G.I Jane.

And now look me in the eye and tell me honestly that you don't feel like killing yourself?

I don't know how I got to this stage.
I'm not big on DIY-ing my own hair, and now? I can't believe that one of the few times I've decided to be a miser and DIY, I've fucked up my life to the extent where my hair colour is now irreversible. This could only happen to me (and other unwitting Bigen Speedy users). Can go bang wall already lah. It won't matter how beautiful my nails or my eyeliner, it won't matter cause my hair is ruined forever. I honestly feel like killing myself, but before I go, please include this picture in my orbituary. BTW Gillian if you're reading this, you're allowed to cover my funeral on clicknetwork .. What are friends for, right? Plus, and I quote "it makes for great reality TV, no?" hahahhaa. Can you imagine headlines? "Girl jumps to death on a bad hair day" Lol. This could only happen to me.

ok I gtg make afterlife plans (no lah, actually I'm gonna go research on how to remove Bigen black, or google "celebrities shaved head"
Don't forget bigen ruins your life.

You know before I left for the salon I was still happily googling to find good plastic surgeons, but now I've given up completely on life and everything in it.

As a P/S, my mum keeps burping uncontrollably.
Not just demure little 小姐 burps, either.
Big, rolling ones that could put bullfrogs to shame.
And she's doing it very unabashedly, while surfing on her computer.
It's so loud and unreal that I keep looking over at her to make sure it's her and not just the maple story sound effects.

Jesus Christ.

Oh btw do you know I have never burped in my life?
I don't have the burping machanism, I dunno why.
I've always been in awe of boys who can burp the alphabet.
Who says it's not a life skill,
it would be on Sesame Street!!

x Formspring Finally.

Everything you've ever wanted to know now comes with additional feature: Anonymity.


x Rockstar.

Cute as hell!!! Check it out!
All Time Low - I Feel Like Dancing


x SQ-ssed. (that says, EXCUSED).

And so it is ...

(sorry. I just always have wanted to start an entry exactly like The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice)

But anyway, here's the dosh.

Okay this is pretty old news cause it happened last Wednesday, it's just that I couldnt' blog about it cause I was in too much of a funk on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday after getting brutally rejected. Yea, I don't take 'NO's very well :/ and I was too intoxicated on Sat/Sun. Mondays are just non working days on my calendar, which is why I'm only able to blog now.

YES!!! I REALLY GOT FIRED!!!! you know I'm damn depressed cause I figured this would be the ULTIMATE job for me. They fired me cause it was a "job mismatch", but I think that's just a crap excuse people come up with when they just really wanna get rid of you. Come on, if people wanna fire you, there's nothing to stop them (I learnt this the hard way) from bidding you a polite Fuck Off. This is why it's always better to own your own business. I think I should stop wasting my life serving people and start my own bizzinezz rapping or something. okay I somehow get the feeling making angry rap songs isn't gonna be my forte either, but ugh, you get the idea. There are MILLIONS of opportunities out there waiting for me!! More if I went for more extensive plastic surgery. hahaha.

So many things to consider. Everyone keeps telling me I should go back into the media, try hosting, or go into radio. Send applications in to Lonely Planet , write for August Men .. OR SOMETHING. Whereas I, on the other hand, feel like going back to Tiananmen to work as an assistant mummy alongside Shan, or start investing in stocks without getting burned. In an ideal life, I would have come up with an incredibly sustainable business plan so I can laze away under my yacht's gazebo somewhere in the middle of the Carribean while checking my POSB Savings bank account every 3 days or so to see how much money my minions are generating. With a couple of strategically planned phonecalls back to my managers, I can DOUBLE it within the next 3. Ahhh, a blessed life. hahaha.

Ok actually I'm having a bit of trouble blogging coherently cause I 'm stuck at the Emirates webpage. I think I should go work for them but then I'll have to move to Dubai, my already small family will be missing another unit, and Kitty (who I cannot bring) will die slowly but surely of a broken heart ): I'm so depressed. On the way back from sending my producer home 2 nights ago I almost crashed my car cause I was so blinded by tears at the thought of ever having to make Kitty sad ):

Yes, but anyway, the chances of moving to Dubai and leading a jet-setting lifestyle is decreasing with every ill-fated click I take. It seems that every single click seems to be leading me in a circle. Yes, I've found out when the cabin crew interview for Emirates is, but they say I have to be 1) fluent in written and spoken Arabic 2) good at problem solving (jesus, if I was good at problem solving I would possibly not be in so many sitches) 3) at the Dubai International Airport, Second Floor Auditorium, Entrance A, on Friday 17th June 2011 between 2:00 pm and 5:00 pm.

Yeah, that's gonna be kinda tough . Obviously my problem solving skills aren't up to scratch. You can only imagine what kind of person would be more upset that it's gonna be a long 7.5 hr flight to Dubai rather than the fact that she can't speak a single word of Arabic. I do know one word though.

okay that's it. HAHAHAHA can you imagine if they hire me, the only thing I'll be saying to passengers in flight is "Ohmmmmmm ...... "


Oh fuck that. It's so hard to concentrate.

I desperately need to go to Ikea to buy more bedsheets. In case you don't already know (yeah, how would you know, right, since I haven't told you), I won a $3000 THREE THOUSAND!!!!!! dollar room makeover from ikea *5000 megawatt smile* See I always told my mother that having a messy room would pay off someday. hahah. This is how it used to look.


Isn't it amazing?!? I know it looks like Ikea came to my house and threw up all over my room, but that truly is the case, except it's technicoloured puke that I love (: Don't give me brainless comments like "your room looks like an Ikea showroom", okay, fuck you. I mean, since EVERYTHING inside it is from Ikea, it technically is an ikea showroom. Except you can live in it. And I LOOOOOVEEEEE ikea showrooms. I'm the kinda psychos you see at Ikea who bounce frantically on all the sofas, make duvet angels in all their beds, and scold other customers for 'trespassing into my private space' when I lounge around in the living rooms staring intently at their blank tv screens. hahaha. Living in an ikea showroom is the ultimate dream for me. And they made it come true. Everyday I come home and revel in the scent of cheap compressed wood. I LOVE ITTTTT!!! :D i love how their furniture comes with such customizable options. I love how you can make everything fit into the measurements of your room. I love how you can mount EVERYTHING of theirs on your wall to save space. But the one thing I love absolutely the most of all is how you can abuse all your ikea furniture :
D I don't care if they say the maximum fuckin load of the floating shelf is 16kg. I'm gonna put all the fkin makeup and clothes I want on it!! If it falls off, I'll just go back and get another one!! :D I don't care if my wardrobe breaks again. My old wardrobe used to cost $4500 and was an ugly brown monster. Now I have a brilliant white one that costs maybe about $200 max. I'm gonna cram it full of clothes and take my chances, BECAUSE I CAN. Ikea's not paying me to write this, I can guarantee you, cause if they did you can bet your ass I wouldn't be emphasizing on the price of their furniture, I'd be talking more about their storage options. hahahahha.

In other news, I was horrified to find out yesterday that my friend has run away to Thailand to be a reclusive monk. WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFF ?!?!?!!!!!! Please try to understand my surprise, because jsut 2 days ago, he was spotted at NaNa guzzling beer by the tower (yes, my satellite coverage is pretty extensive) and exchanging angry words and/or blows (no, as in, punches, not blow as in blowjobs. He doesn't swing that way) with some gay designer who frequents Butter and for some weird reason, for that night, was only clad in his boxers (please don't ask me why, I'm just about as mystified as you).

Anyohows, he got his head bashed half open by a bottle of Martell and had to shave a huge bald patch in his hair so the doctor could sew it back shut. Maybe that's why he went to be a monk. So he'd have a reason to shave his entire head without looking like he's evading the Central Narcotics Bureau. (this is a very good juncture to insert a "how do bald people laugh" (hair hair hair) joke but I'm afraid he'll read this, come back and bash me - thereby nullifying his pledge of non-violence as a monk and wasting all the time he spent meditating in the mountain, so I shan't). Nevermind, I wish you all the best, I'm very proud of you and hope you become a calmer, happier person out of this. Which you will be, but please don't donate all your riches to charity, I'm so super sure your dad will rip you a new one if you do.

I heard from Jane that they shave your eyebrows off as well, not just the hair on your head.

I googled it and it's true. OH NO ):

LOOK!!!! D: D: D:

He's is gonna come back looking like Whoopi Goldberg!!!!! or even worse, MONA LISA!!!! D: D: D:

Oh this is so depressing you wouldn't believe it. If anyone so much as tried to touch my eyebrows, I'd stab them to a slow and torturous death with my trusty tweezers. (oh girls, here's a tweezer tip. DON'T go and buy those ridiculously expensive $30/pair tweezers from tweezerman or manicare. Let me teach you more about beauty on a budget. Tweezers are spoilt the second their "plates" don't clip together perfectly. Sometimes even if you buy crazy expensive tweezers their "kiaps" are not aligned exactly so you can't really catch the skinny hairs and even the coarser ones get "frayed" before you can really pluck them out. If that drives you crazy, try this!! :D the next time you visit Thailand, the instant you see tweezers on sale, immediately grab 10. they're like, 80 cents each, so what the hell, right. Then you come back to your hotel and IMMEDIATELY try ALLLLLLL 10 of them. From there you pick out the ones that work, seperate them from the ones that don't, and then think of people back home you can give the spoilt ones to. The secret is out. Finally all my friends will understand why I have perfectly shaped brows and why they always receive malfunctioning tweezers from me everytime I get back from Thailand. hahahah)

omg. hahah this is hilarious. I'm gonna buy him an eyebrow pencil as a welcome home gift hahahahahhaha.
This just made my day. I swear I live off people's suffering. hahahahahha.

LUVVIT. Maybe I can write to browhaus and ask if they'd like to use him as their feature on their next series of brow resurraction postcards. Lol. He will KILL me. hahahahahahhaa. But it's too funny. I have to. hahahaha.


Oh and there's more!!!! I need help!! I need to choose a bike!! :D
Two days ago out of the blue I was sitting in town with Aaron and suddenly decided that I would die if I don't have a bike license.
Thankfully enough, CDC is open til 9 pm so I rushed down and signed up for bike lessons (:
my I start next thursday.
It's so fucking cheap it's not even funny.

I intended to chiong for my bike just like how I did it for my car (2 weeks), but apparently it's alot harder.
you can only book the next lesson (there are 8) when you finish the first one. Meaning, I cannot book like 2 lessons a day everyday kinda thing. You can only book lesson 2 after you finish lesson 1. I think that's a retarded rule. Seriously. I learned how to ride a bike in 15 minutes when I was in Pattaya. By noon I was racing my friend (but ya la, okay, I crashed into a forest of bougainvillea at approx 1:30pm. heh). But anyway, yeah, I think there's definitely no way I'm gonna be able to finish in in 2 weeks man. But I'm so determined to pass my TP on my first try. I'm already looking for bikes. I've narrowed it down to two. Daniel is pissed as hell with me cause he introduced me to www.singaporebikes.com to look for secondhand bikes and as we were browsing through the forums, I kept going "oh this one is great!!!!" and pointing at pictures but they were all the same bloody model. hahahahha. he exploded "IT'S THE SAME FUCKING MODEL, CAN YOU LOOK AT THE BLOODY CAPTIONS BEFORE SHOUTING?!?!!!" heehee!

And he's also very grumpy cause all the bikes I want (again, not looking at the model number featured in the caption) don't fall under the 2B category and all I seem to like are Harleys and Aprillas. hahahha

"it's not 2B"
"do you have $15,000?!?!??!"

hahahha. I don't understand why my entire life is spent meeting intensely grumpy men.
though secretly I think it's just me pissing them off too much.
For example, my dad was super nice to my sister and my mum though he hisses bad naturedly at me everytime I try to start a conversation with him. S has to take several deep breaths before he talks to me and even Daniel, usually as sedentary as a snake &incredibly polite to girls, can't seem to hold a proper conversation with me without rolling his eyes/face-palming at least 20 times and raising his voice. Am I really that bad? Every time I tell them their temper is bad, they insist that they are usually normal and guys who don't shout at me are just trying to get into my pants.

K lah I don't blame Daniel actually. Today after I forced him and his friend to bring me to what I happily termed the "bicycle helmet shop", the uncle in the shop started telling Daniel off for allowing his girlfriend (me, apparently), to take up riding courses. After I shouted at him "I'M HIS SISTER, YOU FOOLISH OLD PERSON!!!!", he immediately changed the course of his sermon and started chewing Daniel out even worse for allowing his younger sister to even hop on one of these. hahahah all I could do was laugh. I love it when people get scolded. Don't blame me, it's very refreshing to watch someone get all the flak, especially when it's for your mistakes (:

Anyway here are the two bikes within my budget that I have settled on.
Please take the poll and tell me which one you think I'd look cooler on

This is a NSR 150 SP (Honda)
(I'll get it done in black)

This is a KRR 150 (Kawasaki)

(gonna do it in black also)
Please bear in mind that this is the FIRST time I have EVER considered riding a motorbike so please, if you know ANYHTING about engines and other number-ish things, please let me know. Cause right now I'm just buying based on looks itself.
Poll #1752151 BUY THIS BITCH!


Honda NSR 150 SP
Kawasaki KRR 150
Poll #1752152 BUY THIS BITCH!


Honda NSR 150 SP
Kawasaki KRR 150
Poll #1752153 BUY THIS BITCH!


Honda NSR 150 SP
Kawasaki KRR 150
Poll #1752154 BUY THIS BITCH!


Honda NSR 150 SP
Kawasaki KRR 150
Please vote, if you don't vote I'm just gonna end up buying something and regretting. Btw I just realised how cheap bikes are. They cost less than a pair of my shoes!! hahahah!! :D

Okay, that said, I have to go.
I'm meeting my friend (who shall not be named) ((no, it's not Voldemort)) (((hahahah))) who is so upset with SQ. She has like, these bad family problems and doesn't know if she wants to continue there. She went to see the management department and they yelled her out and passed her problems all over the staff room and now everyone is gossiping about her. It's like, her friend went into the toilet and heard my ex-form teacher (yes the one who got me fired) bitching about her to some other teacher. It's really vicious there, the environment. Sigh. It just sucks that everyone puts up such a horribly fake front and behind you it's worse than a girl's school -_- I just hope for all my batchmate's sakes that it gets better once they start flying.

Anyway, I need to go meet her so we can come up with a foolproof plan to get her fired (apparently i'm the one to consult when it comes to these kinda things -_- it's not funny! don't laugh!!) without actually breaking her bond. Gtg!! :D

Oh btw if you haven't watched it,
do yourself a favour and watch it. it's funny AS HELL.
I don't know how people do this day in, day out.
Cause it's killing me slowly.

I don't understand why I just can't manage to keep a job.
Is there something genetically wrong with me?

(okay la just being dramatic, I still have a job, but only cause I exchanged 75% of my soul for it)

Everytime I have a job I drag myself to work, and everyday I feel depression balancing on it's tiptoes of the fringes of my sanity, just waiting to plunge right in. I just DON''T understand why I can't be HAPPY at a job, or if it's even too much to ask for just to fit in.

I just want a face that the teacher won't remember,
or a mouth that smiles more like a normal person's, not a smirk.
I want eyes that don't roll back in their sockets everytime I see someone trying too hard,
or eyelids that don't instantly weigh a tonne the second someone boots up a powerpoint presentation.

It's not that I talk alot in class.
I don't. I figure the less I talk the more I'll fit in.
But somehow or another that still doesn't seem to work.

So daily, I sit in my seat and hold my tongue and wait for 5pm to roll around.
but then what? I come straight home and go to bed.
wtf, is this truly life?

I mean, maybe it's just the training.
one more month to graduation, but only 8 more days til I fly.
I've made it this far, through all the lecturings from the disciplinary committee &the everyday executions made public by my form teacher, not to mention the suckups who immediately jump over to the other side of the fence the second any figure of authority is involved.

I just really, really wanna get out of training.
Maybe then things will get better.

More time for boytoys, too.

I think I'm just suffering from a lack of them.

After working, I've suddenly realised how hard the people around me work,
&no, I don't mean the friends at work, I mean like, real friend friends.
People you see at Butter, or get drunk with at Zouk.
You think they bum around all day, but yknw what?
All their dinners are with clients, and all their phonecalls to subordinates.

It's really a shock to find out.
I don't get how these people balance their work and their play.
AND they have time to invest in property, play golf, go on holidays, and jailbreak their iphones.

I mean, afer I got a job, I seriously live for weekends.
Because I honestly dread weekdays and there's really nothing much else to live for
(except Glee on Fox, tuesday nights at 8:55PM)

Previously when I was bumming for 2 years,
I thought there could be nothing worse than waking up to a day of having nothing to bloody do.
Trust me, bummers. Enjoy it while you still can.

I can't even put into words the carefree-ness of skipping home on a friday evening, tired as fuck and feeling like a steamroller just ran you over and reversed on you in full speed, feeling like death warmed over twice, but just DYING to go out just because you can. Hanging out til sunrise and buying a $1 hashbrown only to throw it up immediately afterward.

Over the past two months of rigourous, class starts at 8:45 but you better be in by 8:30 training, I can definitely say that my punctuality issue has been more than resolved, but now I have an even bigger problem ..

.. over the weekends, I somehow turn into Ke$ha.
As hilarious as it may seem to some of you,
I guarantee it is more serious of a problem than it actually sounds.

I take my weight obsessively everyday (there is a free(!!!) weighing machine at work).
I usually end fridays at 45kg, but after extreme weekend challenges such as 1) not sleeping from Saturday morning to Monday morning and going straight to work after that, 2) going on an entirely liquid diet since my friend lives alone and survives solely on beer, 3) smoking 2 packs a day out of extreme boredom, 4) not being able to eat anything cause of an overload of MTV (seriously, you won't eat after you watch enough MTV or E! cause everyone has the body build of Kate Moss).

Sounds pretty Ke$ha and emo rock chick grunge right? Especially since you can effortlessly ease into jeans previously too tight to button. I go back to work on Monday outrageously dehydrated at 42kg. Dizzy with happiness, clearly, but the euphoria expires by tuesday and by wednesday I start eating. Fk. With food comes fatigue. Wednesdays are the WORST since I don't do mid-week parties anymore (the last time I did a wednesday zouk, I raged homicide in school on thursday). Thursdays are the days that I sustain through only because the next day is .. FRIIIIDAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!! :D : D:D :D And party! and Party!! and PARTY!!! P-P-P-P-PARTY!!!! :D :D :D

I am actually not a party animal.
If I'm unemployed I swear I will just nua at home and learn the joys of dust catching.
But now I'm like, MUST!!!! This is stupid.

I meant this blog post.
This blog post is stupid.

Cause I just spoke to the Yuan and she very comfortingly said "it's not them, it's you. 19 of your classmates can't be wrong. If you don't fit in, it's cause you never will. But fuckit, you'll never need to. But that's okay, you'll always have us."

Aww, she's my modern day Mata Hari (:

It's jsut training.
If I make it through, I'll be okay.
I'll be okay.

Right? (:

just have a problem getting along with people.


Foxxxy Koh

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